Disappointment

Over the last few weeks, I thought I was getting really close to getting something I really wanted. It seemed to be the perfect thing, and I felt like everything was lining up perfectly. It was so close I could taste it, and I was already planning for it.

But then I didn't get it. And I was crushed, still am a little bit.

Over the last week, I have questioned why I didn't get it and doubted there will ever be anything like it again. I know in my head that God's timing is perfect and that He has great plans for me. The verses I have been memorizing are some of those key promises, but it's still hard not to be disappointed by the things that don't go your way.

I read a post from Stuff Christians Like this week about this very thing (go read the whole thing). 

Jon Acuff writes, "I wrestle with this sometimes but what I am starting to think is that disappointment, sunset moments, only point to how bright my sunrise really is. Throughout the bible, we are told that God knows our true desires, those things we really need above all else. And in his midst alone, do we find our satisfaction. So when I experience something that hurts, an expectation that was unmet, maybe what I should think is, 'If that felt good at first and that’s not the thing that God has planned for me, how amazing is that thing going to be?'"

And it gave me some perspective. This thing I wanted so badly seemed to be perfect for me, but it wasn't or it wasn't the right time for it. But God has something even better for me, even though I can't see it.

A friend sent me this verse, which I'm in the midst of memorizing:

"When all things were hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said he would do." Romans 4:18, The Message

So I'm living in disappointment at this moment, and I think God wants me to be real with him about that. (The rest of Jon's post talks about being open about what hurts.) But I also have great hope in the things that are to come that are even better than what I thought was so perfect.