Waiting

I am not good at waiting. I hate traffic jams but find sitting in airports even worse. I tend to arrive places a little bit late, so I don't have to wait on other people. And even if I'm only waiting a few minutes, my iPhone comes out.

On Monday night (the Fourth of July), I had to wait for AAA. I had driven to the fireworks with friends, and while we waited on the fireworks to start, the battery on my car died. I thought my car might start again after it had a break, but it didn't and then jumping off someone else's car didn't work either. So we were left waiting for AAA.

In the 30 minutes we had to wait, I quickly reached frustrated. Here's a glimpse of what was going on in my head: The battery on my car has never died. Why would it die now? I know I've had the car five years, but it has been so reliable, why would it have a meltdown now? I just spent a lot of money on maintenance. And I have friends that want to go home. I have to be at work at 8 a.m. I do not want to sit here and wait for some guy to show up and attempt to jump my car off. What if he can't jump it? There went a bus, do you think we could catch a bus home at 10:30 p.m. I can live without my car this week, can we just leave it parked here so I can go home?

Yeah, not good at waiting. I couldn't read my friends' minds, but they seemed to have a much better attitude. They talked and laughed and enjoyed the "rogue" fireworks going off long after the main event ended. They managed to enjoy the waiting. I know they were anxious to get home too, but they didn't complain about an extra 30 minutes of time to hang out.

Right now I'm waiting for something that's bigger than AAA or a traffic jam or a delayed flight. And I've been struggling with the waiting. I've been distracted and not really present in what is happening right now. I know God's timing is perfect, but I've been desperate to move forward without Him.

A friend sent me a devotional that reminded me of why we wait for God. It is in waiting that God we see His power. If I do it my way, I miss seeing the perfect plan God has been working out in His perfect timing. It echoed the verse I'm memorizing right now: "Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you." Isaiah 30:18a.

I want to wait and see God's power, and as I saw on Monday night, the waiting doesn't have to be stressful. Yes, I'm tired of waiting, but waiting means that I have time, time I should take advantage of. So I'm trying to enjoy the waiting and focus on my present, not the future I can't control.