Catching up

Hello, I'm still here. As usual, blogging has fallen to the bottom of my list. But here's a few random tidbits from life to catch you up.

I got involved with my sorority alumni group here. Based on my experience with the group in Georgia, I thought it would just be going to movies, meeting up for drinks and dinner, etc. Basically, a way to have a social life in a new city. Not so with this group. Eight of us just organized and hosted what turned out to be a huge event (almost 400 people) for chapters in our region. I ran around like a crazy person on Saturday keeping the event going. While I enjoyed helping out, I was reminded that event planning is not my thing. But if you ever need to hire an event planner, ask if they were in a sorority because those girls are organized, creative and efficient. I also came back with more sorority stuff than I need at this point in my life.

I finished Beth Moore's James study. I hope to have a real post on that soon.

I am also very close to being done with the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts and definitely plan to blog about it. It is a fascinating book especially if you are interested in the introvert/extrovert dynamic.

I just have one more week of GRE class, and I take the exam three weeks from Friday. I am just ready to have this behind me.

And one more thing that's almost done: The semester! Just three more weeks. Now that I know I'm staying, I am ready for this semester to end and hit reset on everything. It's been a rough few weeks, and I'm ready for the switchover. The end of the semester also means I'm that much closer to my trip to Ireland and London. 

The garden has been tilled, though I don't get any credit for that. I'm going to pick out plants and get them in the ground next weekend. A groundhog and three deer were in my yard this evening, so even if I can keep the plants alive, keeping the critters out is going to be a challenge.

And remember this post? Yeah, it actually worked, so I've been pretty distracted lately if you can't tell. He also gets the credit for tilling the garden and allowing me to cancel my lawn service.

A lesson in cynicism

Apologies for the lack of posting. There's a ton of stuff going on, and the blog just falls to the bottom of the list. Sadly, cooking has too, so I don't have any fun recipes to share. And as most of my life is right now, this post is about work, but there's more to it than just work.

One of the things I love about this job is all the different things I get to do. When I get bored of doing one thing, I have something entirely different I can do. Of course, during a week like this when I have deadlines on all of these things, it's overwhelming.

But one of my responsibilities is opinion editor. It's a very interesting role anytime because I try hard to balance viewpoints. But there's a local election coming up, and I have been flooded with letters to the editor. I've been dealing with a lot of comments and criticisms about the fact all the letters support one candidate. I know it's not personal, and I don't take offense. But on Thursday I realized it had really been building on me.

I had a long to do list and kept getting interrupted with questions about the opinion page and was quickly losing patience with the whole thing. I got another comment about the letters I had to respond to, and I had pretty much had it. Fortunately, my co-worker saved me from being too blunt in my response. But I walked out of work in quite a mood that I couldn't even describe.

I'm in a Beth Moore study on Thursday nights, and I was in such a bad mood I was talking myself out of going. But I went (about 30 minutes late), and I'm so glad I did. Beth's message was on cynicism, and that's exactly the point I had reached in all of this work stuff. Her message was exactly what I needed to hear. It's hard not to become cynical about some stuff at work, but it's a real problem when it spreads into the rest of my life. She gave five reasons not to get cynical:

1. Jesus is still flagrantly changing lives.
2. Real people are doing the real thing all over the real world.
3. The appetite to study Scripture is increasingly ravenous.
4. Some long-standing barriers are breaking down.
5. God will kick your tail.

I'm thinking this list needs to be up on the wall in my office.

And with the letters, I should be proud to live in a community where people are civic-minded and involved in the democratic process. It's a privilege to work in a job where I play a small role in allowing people to share their voice, but some days I need God to kick my tail to remind me of it.

Celebration weekend

Last year one of my goals was to memorize Scripture. I knew I needed to have my mind focused on God’s truths and promises and regain control of my thought life.

My accountability for memorizing verses was through Beth Moore’s blog. Every two weeks I added another verse and checked in on the blog. My friend Katherine did the same, and it was nice to have a friend holding me accountable as well.

It was interesting to go back through my verses over the course of the year and remember what was happening during my life during that time. (There were a lot of verses about waiting.) And clinging to these verses is what got me through a lot of the changes in my life over the last year.

Early on I knew there would be a celebration in Houston for those that completed the year with all the verses, but it was a year away and seemed like a long way to travel. But when summer rolled around and it became apparent I would be moving away from Virginia and Katherine would be walking a tough road, we put it on the calendar and insisted we would meet in Houston in January. I think we both needed something to look forward to.

And this past weekend we got to see each other for the first time in six months. It was such a blessing and an encouragement to see her and catch up in person. 

The event itself was great, it was more intimate and personal than the other Beth Moore events I’ve attended. We were sitting just nine rows back from where Beth was speaking.

(Horrible quality but that is Beth.)

Her message was powerful as always and such an encouragement. If you have ever heard Beth, you know that she makes very clear points and often weaves them into a word. This weekend the word was walking. 

Her first point was: “We are all starved for some face to face.” And I thought, that’s exactly it. I was starving for some time with one of my best friends who knows me after months of trying to cultivate relationships in a new city. I needed the time away to really worship the Lord, and He used Beth as a vessel to speak to me face to face.

The last point Beth made was that we have to go out into the word walking in what you know.

Even though I wanted to hop back on the plane with Katherine to Virginia to return to my community there, I know God has me where He wants me and that’s where I’m called to go back. And so I’m here walking with these verses on my heart and mind.

From dreaded to exceptional

Tag this under “other adventures” because I have to post about my weekend, and I don’t have a single cooking experience or recipe to share.
 
I traveled to Atlanta to meet my mom and sisters for a Beth Moore conference over the weekend. I have a done a few Beth Moore Bible studies and heard her live a couple of times, and I was looking forward to the event. But going into the weekend, I was extremely negative. I felt like something was going to go wrong or it would be such a short trip, I’d be exhausted and spend most of the time in airports or the car and not get much time with my family.

This is a time in the year when I can’t take off work, so I couldn’t make a longer weekend out of it and Atlanta is no longer just a quick drive for me. So I had to take a non-direct flight late Friday night, and I am not a fan of flying. I do it because I enjoying visiting new places, but I hate the hassle of airports, security, delayed flights, etc. I am always convinced something will go wrong.

This anxiety is not without cause. Just ask me about the time I sat on a curry-scented plane for three hours before an international flight, missed my connection in the U.S., was detoured to another city and spent the night with my parents in a small hotel room without earplugs. Or the time a quick weekend trip to Tennessee from Missouri landed me in Peoria, Ill., for an unplanned overnight stay.

But anyway, for the two weeks leading up to this trip, God had been teaching me about anxiety and worry through several outlets. As I described this trip to a friend earlier in the week, I heard how negative I sounded and realized this was the opposite of what God had been teaching me. I needed to let go of my anxiety and trust Him to get me there, or if not, allow me to see His glory in delays or detours. So my prayer going into the weekend was that I would be able to let go of this anxiety, trust God and be able to keep my heart and mind open to hear His message to me.

And you know what, He didn’t just get me there, He blessed the whole weekend. My flights went smoothly and I even landed early in Atlanta. We had to get up early Saturday morning to get to the venue, but it was an easy drive with no traffic (a rarity in Atlanta) and we arrived early. The all-day conference was great. I love being in worship at an event like that. It's just amazing to be in a room where 10,000 women are worshiping God.

Then Beth’s message on insecurity was what I needed to hear. It was somewhat of a continuation of what God has been teaching me, in that it is about controlling my thoughts and filling my mind with God’s Word and not my anxious and insecure thoughts. We also got to hear a short question and answer with Beth and her daughter in a smaller venue.

Leaving the venue in the chaos of 10,000 women and a huge parking lot took a while. It was late afternoon and we were planning the rest of our evening as we sat in traffic. The longer it took, the hungrier we got. We ditched our plan to shop first and headed to a restaurant my mom wanted to take us to. We walked in the door, and there was Beth Moore waiting for a table with her daughter and son-in-law. My sister got the courage to walk us up there and talk to her, and she was so kind and real. She didn’t just say hello and turn back to her family, instead she wanted to know our names and give us each a hug. It was a brief encounter but capped off an already great day.

After some shopping, we headed back to the hotel completely exhausted and were asleep by 10 p.m. I slept so well, I was wide-awake by 7:30 a.m. This meant I got to spend the rest of the morning just talking with my sisters and mom, something I had been afraid we wouldn’t have much time for. The storms from Saturday cleared, and we had a beautiful day. After a successful shopping trip, I had the easiest trip through security at the Atlanta airport. (They’ve apparently opened a new security checkpoint since I was last there a year ago.)

I am writing this in the airport, so assuming my flight does actually leave and land in the right city*, this weekend has exceeded anything I could have hoped for. And even with something as simple as a weekend getaway, God was faithful and reminded me that He is worthy of my trust with not just this but everything else I allow myself to worry about and obsess over.

I don’t like giving up my control, even to an airline for a weekend trip, but God is showing me that life is much more enjoyable when I do loosen my grip and trust Him.

* As of this posting I am back home.